Hello Readers! – What do you think?

"https://www.flickr.com/photos/rkramer62/5527409305/in/photolist-h2EwR2-F7HPDU-9qrqdr-e4Cbs6-5xqRc3-7auHR6-bP9Fp-69NZyc-roCJtM-bxZfM7-8fwvFX-7KAiW4-E5mLF8-E5mLH2-E5mLHn-buCpGE-9q7UMm-gyied3-pCenye-7ScLXL-oEXZMi-5EGt56-FGYcjA-6kEU2e-gSAGSh-9e9Rsh-65J87Z-apKYx5-73CKzJ-9Uqi7T-jFjkUw-7n7or7-7ayrM7-buJm7L-qVvVNs-CJVXzH-UGXna-bxiFa-gZMY9N-9cpL2R-bxruj-oXcjjD-9sFF3G-e7zjHQ-qUdAV-gSM2sU-E6d4Eb-bxmpr-2viWw7-5ZxFy8"
Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

Have you ever fallen in love with the start of a story?  Perhaps you are a writer, like me, who keeps these little scraps of story starts, almost like a yarn stash, hoping they will someday turn into a lovely story that thrills and inspires you.

I have such a start.  But I’m not sure what to do with it.  This week I came back to it, intending to re-invent it.  It has been many things, but I’m still not satisfied.  It’s like that lovely wonderful yarn skein whose beautiful color and soft feel call to you – but you can’t seem to find the just the right project for it!  At times I’ve thought about letting it go, but I keep coming back to this opening, having a thrilling feeling when I re-read it, hoping to make it into a story I would really love.  But . . . I’m stuck.

In the past several months you’ve given me a gift of hearing your thoughts on my stories.  Your encouragement to write more about a character, about how she feels, about what she wants from her life . . . and I thought:  why not ask for your help?

If you would, please take a moment to share your thoughts about the story that I have started (below).  I would be most grateful!

#

"https://www.flickr.com/photos/rkramer62/5527409305/in/photolist-h2EwR2-F7HPDU-9qrqdr-e4Cbs6-5xqRc3-7auHR6-bP9Fp-69NZyc-roCJtM-bxZfM7-8fwvFX-7KAiW4-E5mLF8-E5mLH2-E5mLHn-buCpGE-9q7UMm-gyied3-pCenye-7ScLXL-oEXZMi-5EGt56-FGYcjA-6kEU2e-gSAGSh-9e9Rsh-65J87Z-apKYx5-73CKzJ-9Uqi7T-jFjkUw-7n7or7-7ayrM7-buJm7L-qVvVNs-CJVXzH-UGXna-bxiFa-gZMY9N-9cpL2R-bxruj-oXcjjD-9sFF3G-e7zjHQ-qUdAV-gSM2sU-E6d4Eb-bxmpr-2viWw7-5ZxFy8"
Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

Charlotte fell in love with the Daylight Saving man.  He roared into town once a month in his chrome and steel Daylight truck, bringing the huge glass plates from L.A. and exchanging them for fully charged plates left the month before. The daylight plates sat on enormous metal racks on the outskirts of town, a spider web of black rungs sitting on an acre of red desert sand. His truck rolled into town from the west, past the dried up log fence of the pumping station, the empty wild horse corral with its scratchy brush cover, the flat front of the Mercantile Emporium, past the few regular blocks of sun-baked clapboard bungalows and heat-washed stucco cottages, and then out to the daylight saving glass beds on the east side of town.

There is a feel to the motion of mechanical things, just as there is a feel to the movement of sentient things. Charlotte, a child of the desert, feels it around her, the flick of a desert cottontail, the glide of deer feet, the darting of a cactus wren. As the truck approached her father’s diner on Russell’s first day in town she heard the rumble of the engine, the low hum of tires on asphalt.  She looked up as the truck went by.

It swept past like the rush of a heat wave.

#

What do you think, what questions come to mind, what would you like to know more about?  I’m curious, and I’ll be happy to respond to your thoughts.  If you prefer not to post in a comment, feel free to send me a message at https://theresabarkerlabnotes.com/about/.

My deepest thanks in advance for your thoughts and observations.  Have a great week!

33 thoughts on “Hello Readers! – What do you think?

  1. I sense the natural desert world and a futuristic world colliding, perhaps both characters will teach and learn from each other (as well as experience some adventure or mystery!)? I was drawn in and look forward to reading more!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I love how it appeals to the senses and a sense of slow unfolding which reminds me of some of the best short stories. I wish I knew what a Daylight Savings man is with his glass plates! Maybe chalk it up to that although I live in the desert, Arizona doesn’t have Daylight savings. hahaha

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah! I totally forgot about the non-DST quality of Arizona. Confession: I wish we did not have DST here in Washington, it always throws me off when we go on or off it, and I miss the sense of “authenticity” of the hour of day being the same all year round. Thank you for the observation about the slow unfolding, and I think that is a quality about this particular opening that keeps me coming back to it. And, I’m happy your curious about what “daylight saving man” might mean. Very interesting! Thx!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Waiting for more!!!!!!!!
        It’s nice that the time doesn’t change here, but then it changes everywhere else, and my mom and daughter right now live 3 hours away. That I don’t like!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. It sounds like a laid back story…with more to it. Kimberlee presented a lovely idea. Daylight Saving man is an interesting name for a character. Seems to me he symbolizes the natural elements but at the same time, he seems so certain and is able to captivate wherever he goes.

    I’m like you when it comes to writing, stuck ever so often. I’m the kind who likes to get things done right from the get go, and it really bugs me when I’m writing and it goes well and then I come to a complete stop.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah! Thank you for telling me you sometimes have this frustrating process too. It’s surprisingly helpful to hear one is not alone. Your work seems so fluid, I feel encouraged to hear sometimes you get stuck, too. Thank you!

      Like

      1. I get stuck all the time, it’s not even funny. If I didn’t get stuck so much, I’d probably have finished writing my book by now 😀 Keep writing and may inspiration strike you 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Yes we sure have fallen in love with the start of a story and its what draws us in. This story has a wonderful start that allows us to feel we are there. Who is this “Daylight Savings Man” and how did he acquire this title. Was it because of his solar farm and what was his attraction to it. The diner has so much intrigue because that’s where meetings of the mind take place in our experience. Great story Theresa…please keep going.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh! I love the idea of the daylight saving man having a solar farm. That is really intriguing. And the diner – of course! You know the power of the diner, and I actually drew my inspiration from your tales on that. 🙂 Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s one of those it’s ok to be in that style, but somehow you have to make it unique. They each had/have such distinct voices and in some ways it would be hard to stay in your own lane so to speak. The other comment that sort of stuck with me since I first read this post was something about solar panels, like maybe on the restaurant? I though that was an interesting idea.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Ah- that’s a really good observation about the style. And I’m glad you mentioned this, since actually this afternoon I came at it from a different angle, which changes the tone or voice a bit. Your comment makes me feel better about this new angle. Thank you, Amy!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. No, no, not at all! You completely made me feel better because in the end I’m trying a different wording, even though I really liked this one, and others complimented it too. But I just kept hitting a dead end. Perhaps the dead ends came partially because the style was not something I was ready to sustain. I’m grateful you mentioned this!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh Theresa! You remind me of an old fashioned stove top coffee percolator – stories, characters and ideas bubbling and popping against the top of the glass knob on the lid just waiting to be done brewing so they can pour out!!
    Your brain is exactly like my yarn stash! I have all of these amazing textures and hues waiting to be written into a pattern and you have all of these words and visions waiting to be stitched together! 😀
    I’m feeling a post-apocalyptic/new world vibe. I like it! Is Daylight Saving Man one person or is that how Charlotte refers to the men that work for Daylight Saving company? Similar to how we refer to the Gas Man or the Garbage Man or the Cable Guy etc etc. Is it the person or the technology that Charlotte is fascinated with? Don’t get me wrong I do like a good futuristic romance but my initial reaction was that Charlotte was a budding scientist type of a girl. The story would be about her studying this solar energy technology and maybe unearthing some sort of corruption or sinister plot. Does Charlotte need to re-save the world??

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh! I am so excited to read your kind and enthusiastic observations! Yes, there is a close connection between the yarn stash and the mosaic of ideas and characters that I try to interact with. 🙂 I’m honored by your suggestions and I’ll be mulling them over to as I start to move forward!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I have lots of those “starts”, too, my friend. Haha! It’s a love story. The question is: with the differences, how is this love going to work. But it must work. 🙂

    Like

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s