My secret identity

Concept image of alter egoThe day it happened I had gone to work like every day.  The Metro 72 bus took me downtown to the Mercer Building.  I went up to the fourteenth floor, to the offices of the small non-profit I worked at as a bookkeeper.  The non-profit was called Persons for A Clean Earth, P.A.C.E.

It was New Year’s Eve, December 31.  Downtown was relatively deserted, most people staying home for the holidays, I figured.

At a little after noon a UFO landed on the roof patio where I was eating lunch.  Most people use the roof patio for outdoor eating only in the warm summer months, but it’s a lot less crowded in the winter.  In fact, no one but me was sitting at the picnic tables.  Great view, though.

The UFO wasn’t what you’d think.  It was small, about the size of a yo-yo.  I might not have noticed it except for the incessant pinging sound it made before landing.  It was like one of those car alarms that keeps going off in the middle of the night when you’re trying to sleep.

The UFO itself was bright green, a day-glo green, actually.  I don’t know why it hadn’t been spotted by NORAD or the FAA or whoever does the airspace monitoring above our city.  But at any rate, it seemed to have arrived unnoticed.  That is, unnoticed by anyone but me.

The top hatch flipped open.  A small alien poked out its head, then emerged from the vessel.  It looked like a cross between a grasshopper and a fruit bat, all furled wings and green head and long spiky legs.

I said, “Take me to your leader?”  It seemed like a funny joke.  But the alien just stared at me.

Somehow I heard its thoughts inside my head.

You must keep this a secret.  You have been colonized by the GRRGHian empire.  You have a new identity; you are known as XXRRYU.  The other colonists will follow in a mass invasion.

“Okay!” I thought.  Or, at least, I thought I thought it.

This will make a terrific cover story for The Globe tabloid:  “Non-Profit Staffer First to Communicate with Proven Alien!”

I swooped down on the alien with my empty soup container and caught it by surprise.  After lunch I took it downstairs and put it in the fridge before I went to my desk to call the news tip line.


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