Missing Person’s Report


Delia Swan disappeared into the crowd on Saturday morning, August, 17, 2013.  She walked out of her Brooklyn brownstone, headed for the gym as usual, when a crowd swept by and picked her up.  When they arrived at the end of the block, she was gone.

Her husband Laurence stated she had wanted to be part of the crowd ever since he knew her.  “She told me she was tired of being the best-dressed, the most interesting person at parties and events,” he said.  “All she wanted to do was fit in.”

It all started after she had garnered a bit part in a Hugh Grant movie in the late ’90’s.  Delia became known as “the girl with the umbrella” at the funeral of “Four Weddings and a Funeral.”  After that she mostly did multi-page advertisement spreads for cosmetic products and vodka producers.  Soon she couldn’t go anywhere without being recognized.

“It was very tiresome,” Laurence Swan said.  “You couldn’t go down to the corner pub for a pint without being followed by onlookers, pestered for autographs, etc.  She was sick of it.”

Asked how she found the crowd to disappear into, Swan shrugged his shoulders.  “The Internet,” he said.

No foul play is suspected.


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